


Observation

by amanda_jolene



Series: The Nelsons [1]
Category: My Mad Fat Diary
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-15
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-19 12:05:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1468981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amanda_jolene/pseuds/amanda_jolene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You'd be amazed at who is watching you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Observation

The first time the lady at the drug store see him, he’s buying a pregnancy test and a pack of condoms. She raises a brow but he doesn’t bat an eye. She’ll see him once a week for a month, buying another test and another pack and she’ll bite her tongue to keep from asking the lad exactly what the hell he’s up to. Kids these days.

If she were to ask (and Finn were the open sort) he’d tell her that his first time with his girlfriend had been unexpected. It was supposed to be a night ride on the scooter just past the city limits so Rae could see the meteor shower. It was a kiss in a field that turned into so much more, and he had fumbled in his bag for a condom while she sucked on his pulse but he had come up empty handed. They were young and reckless and so on fire for each other that he didn’t think twice about pressing into her when she muttered her consent against his lips. He had a right mind to at least pull out but when she grabbed his back and cried his name, he lost control and came deep inside of her, his body shuddering, breath puffing out like it was his first time, too. (Rae takes a pregnancy test once a week for a solid month. Every negative that rolls in find them in a tangle of limbs and a bottom drawer full of protection.)

She sees him off and on for a few years. Mostly condoms and then a prescription of birth control for Rachel Earl after he buys another month’s worth of pregnancy tests. He’s gone for a while (Uni, she suspects) but then he’s back to pick up more birth control (this time for Rachel Nelson) and sometimes tampax and she likes that he doesn’t blush the way some young men do. 

There are a few dark years where his mouth is set in a grim line as he buys pregnancy tests, ovulation kits, a prescription of fertility drugs and anxiety meds for Rachel Nelson, antidepressants for Finn Nelson. 

She doesn’t see him for a long time. She thinks of him often when she’s playing with her grandkids or making tea. She cries one night after watching a special on infertility and wonders how things turned out for him. 

A month of so later, he comes with a maternity ward bracelet wrapped around his wrist and he waits for his prescription with the happiest grin on his face. 

"Congrats," she tells him. 

He gives her a lopsided grin that’s full of relief. “Thanks.” 

The next time he comes in, he looks a little frazzled as he prowls the aisles for cold medicine and fever reducer for an infant. She knows the look, the way his heart must be aching because his child is sick and there’s nothing he can do. She’s got a line but she takes time to tell him about warm compresses, just on the chest, to help clear congestion and a little ice bath to bring down the temp. He thanks her as the woman behind him sighs impatiently. 

It’s a nice sunny day when he reappears, another maternity ID on his wrist but he’s got a grumpy looking two year old in tow this time. The boy refuses a lolly or a drink and clings tightly to his pant leg. “He’s at that age,” he offers with an affectionate smile. (Finn is actually delighted to be the center of his child’s world.)

Years and years later, he’ll bring the first one back in (now a grumpy 16 year old who looks exactly as his father did as a youth. She’ll blink her eyes several times to make sure it’s real and she’s not having a stroke) and the man will drag him to the back of the store, pick up a box of condoms and march him to the register. She picks up bits of the lecture (“Don’t be stupid, Jere. Don’t be reckless.”) and she bites her tongue to keep from reminding him how reckless and stupid he had been. 

"Kids," he rolls his eyes. 

She knows he’s upset and she doesn’t mean to say anything but- “They do have a way about them sometimes. Sometimes, though, we have to remember how badly we wanted them, how our world felt like it was crumbling when we thought we’d never have them, hm?”

He just nods and something shifts behind his eyes. (He’s thinking about doctor appointments, tests, medicine, 3 miscarriages, Rae crying herself to sleep against his chest every night for 3 years, the way his heart exploded when the first was born and how he had cried holding him.) “You’re right. Thank you.” 

He leaves the store and she sees him wrap an arm around the boy as they walk to the car where the younger one is peering out the back window and making faces. 

"No, thank you." 

(She doesn’t know this but next year she’ll have her second heart attack but she won’t survive this one. A week after her funeral, Finn Nelson will come in and ask after her. He’ll sit in his car for a spell and brush away a few tears and he won’t know exactly why he’s sad but he’ll remember warm compresses just on the chest for congestion and a little ice bath to bring down the temp.)


End file.
